SallyÕs Journal Entry:
October 31, 2006
Working with this group of
writers has been an inspiring experience.
The group is talented and hardworking. Using the new format worked well. During our first workshop, Saturday, September 30, we talked
craft for two and a half hours. We
skipped the Columbus Day holiday, and first drafts were due to me via email on
Tuesday, October 10. A flurry of
email to the two workshop groups meant a couple of busy hours for me. We lost only one of our nine writers at
the deadline. The eight who remain
astounded me with the depth of their writing.
Having four writers in each
group was a perfect mix. When I
emailed the mss each writer would critique, I attached a guide for critiquing
that is based on a guide Rebecca McClanahan used during workshops I spent under
her guidance. She graciously
allowed me to modify her guide according to my purpose: working with
veterans.
On Saturday, October 14, we reconvened
at the Beaufort Marine Corps Air Station training building for our second two
and a half hour workshop. We broke
into our two groups and moved to separate rooms, a move that proved interesting
since there is only one of me.
Fortunately, David, who also serves as my point of contact at MCCS and
has extensively assisted in developing the workshop, was attending his second
workshop cycle. He was able to
keep one group on track with the workshop process while I began with the other
group. As usual, I had written a
summary of my suggestions for revision of each piece, and I also provided
margin comments on each manuscript.
Rather than speak with the
group as each piece was critiqued, I gave my assessment of each piece to the
writer without allowing for dialectic.
Time constraints forced this method on the group and me. I gave my written summary and ms to
each writer when I finished, welcomed email questions on my comments, and
reminded each writer that he or she is the final authority on what makes the
page. I planned to spend about
forty-five minutes with each group Ð I took a bit longer since each critique is
an opportunity to fit in craft talk.
When I moved to the second
group, the magic of workshop was already underway. The writers were bonding, they were on their last piece, and
everyone was surprised by the depth of comments they received and by the sense
of mutuality among the pieces. No
one had discussed the work critiqued outside of workshop Ð thatÕs one of my
rules. I believe in this rule
because I know how easily influenced I am by othersÕ opinions; plus, the work
must stand on its own without benefit of the authorial explanations in order
for the critique to be afforded the value it must have in this compacted
writing course. David had done an
outstanding job of guiding his group through the process without me. I sat down and began my critique of
each piece.
We finished up by coming
together in our big room Ð a classroom used by colleges and universities to
hold on-base courses. We discussed
the plan for the next week.
Everyone would come together on the third Saturday to hear the writers
read their revisions. The third
workshop would be the first time the entire group heard everyoneÕs work. Revisions were to be emailed to me by
Thursday. I would not be
forwarding them to workshoppers, nor would I provide summary comments on this
revision. I did however print the
manuscripts, read the changes, and make margin notes.
We reconvened for our third
workshop on Saturday, October 21.
Our group photo is a record of those present. Vivian was working in Atlanta and so was unable to
attend. I sent my comments on her
ms via email. That Saturday
morning was spent listening to each writer read, followed by a roundtable
discussion of the piece, and recommendations for final draft revisions. I was already privy to the connections
in the pieces: the hymns, the dreams, the sorrows, the joys. But I do believe others in the group
were truly surprised to hear the work of the other half.
Our final Saturday was a
celebration of the writersÕ accomplishments. Sondra was absent Ð she and her husband were spending some
time in Hawaii. Kathryn was also
spending time with her husband Ð on a cruise. Charlotte was working.
As for the rest of us, I for one will remember that Saturday forever as
a day when each of us held infinity in the palms of our hands. These moments, captured on a page,
pulled from heart, mind, and spirit, often at great expense, are offered to you
so that you might share in the voices that emerged from this war veteransÕ
writing workshop.
David, a veteran of the Cold
War and the War on Terror, has written another humorous memoir from his days as
a military criminal investigator, featuring a perp heÕs named Mogan David. I laughed until I cried each time I
heard that name. But seriously,
David seems to be developing a subgenre Ð the military detective memoir.
Jack, a Korean Conflict
veteran, has wound past and present into a tribute to those forgotten in this
war, too, the Navy. When I first
read JackÕs piece, I mentioned that many people seem to remember the Korean
Conflict as a ground war. The
NavyÕs roll in winning that war often goes unmentioned, as does the NavyÕs role
in the Desert Wars. Jack gives us
pause to reflect on how much we really do take for granted.
Vivian has written a memoir
about her experience breaking through the glass ceiling of chemical sales two
decades ago, a time when ÒEveryday, I walked through industrial environments in
my chlorine-stained jeans, tight golf shirts and steel-toed boots, my hair
rolled in a bun and tucked underneath my hard hat.Ó She writes of the hard times and hard men she encountered,
and reflects on what might have been.
I know the younger women in the group were nodding their heads as Vivian
read from her work. ThatÕs
terribly sad in a way.
Sondra has written of a
particular time Ð September 11, 2001.
On that day, Sondra, an active duty marine, was away from her normal
workplace, out on a duty call, but her youngest child was in daycare, on base,
near the Pentagon. Her story
presents the human heart in conflict with itself in a fundamental moment Ð the
dilemma of being both mother and warrior.
Kathryn has written a
profile of the man she loves, a man, who, upon learning he would probably need
a kidney transplant, drove several hours to help a marine returning from
Afghanistan. KathrynÕs profile is
a testament of love, the kind of love we see too little of in this age.
Cassandra, who is still
working on her piece, wrote about the burden of being a military wife, the one
left behind to pick up the pieces, pack the bags, and get the family to the
airport on time when Dad is away.
Her burden is doubled as an officerÕs wife, one who must set the example
for other spouses. She finds
herself in quite a predicament when she arrives in Japan with a carry-on bag
full of contraband.
Yvonne has written a moving
memoir of loss and hope. Her work
is powerful, blessed as she is with naturally poetic language. Despite her losses, she goes on, and
the comfort she gives her family is a comfort to me Ð knowing that someone
cares enough to care for the aging veteran.
Charlotte has written a
moving account of her experience in a military mortuary in Iraq. I took great comfort from her work,
from knowing that our war dead are cared for in a foreign land as we would care
for them, our loved ones, if only we could be there with them. Charlotte takes us there.
Yes, this has been an
inspiring workshop. These writers
have bled words. And, yes, they
have captured infinity in the palms of their hands.