Remembering Ming

By Jerry Boe

Prologue

Dear Ming:

I was cleaning up some old paperwork this morning and found a picture of you and me at the Cam Ranh Orphanage in 1970. The memories of my many visits to the orphanage to be with you and to comfort you came cascading back. I wrote a poem trying to express my thoughts about you and the many others at the orphanage.

Orphans of War

The innocent children of a terrible war

Are a sight and sound sent from God.

As you look at their faces,

They are still full of hope and love.

They cling to your arms as you hold them,

The look in their eyes is not what you see.

What you see and what you hear is “Love me”!

They are so shattered by war that they forget how to play.

Yet even with this as you look on each face,

You can see God at work in this wonderful place.

You hold them, you rock them, you watch as they sleep,

You pray you can ensure their safe keep..

You bathe them, you clothe them, you feed them a meal,

Hoping against hope that some happiness they steal.

Yet when it is all over and done, you look and you see,

Their loving expression saying, “Please love me “

Chapter 1

The innocent children of a terrible war….

Getting There

As an Army Officer during the Vietnam War it was a sure bet that I would get a tour in Vietnam. And sure enough I received orders to the 9^th Medical Laboratory at Long Binh. It was early December 1969 when I received my orders with a departure date in March 1970. My actual duty assignment was to be Officer -in-Charge of the US Army, Vietnam, Central Blood Bank, located as a tenant unit on the 6^th Convalescent Center Compound at Cam Ranh Bay

I began my preparations for leaving. First came immunizations for yellow fever, cholera, malaria and tetanus. Then all the work began, a power of attorney, and an updated will and of course the typical mass of Army papers.

My family appeared to take my departure in stride. They were somewhat prepared. We had discussed the possibility of my leaving some time back. Being a 35 - year-old career officer required being competitive and this meant a tour in Vietnam.

Finally the day for me to leave came and I said good-bye to my family. Tears filled my eyes as I hugged my 9-year-old daughter and told her to continue to do well in school. My son was trying to be strong as we hugged and said our “see you later” and my wife doesn’t want to let go until the last minute when I had to board the plane.

I left not knowing what life altering experiences waited in that small country on the other side of world.

After about 18 hours we landed in Saigon. The heat was excruciating and was compounded by the fact that we were shuffled into a large Quonset hut with no air conditioning, only a few fans to push the air around. Finally a Major showed up and gave us our “in-country”’ briefing with the main emphasis on the importance of taking our antimalaria pills each week. He failed to emphasize the side effects could be debilitating. Many of us had severe stomach cramps and diarrhea. The side effects were bad enough to put some soldiers in bed for a day.

Once the paperwork was completed I was given the OK to travel to Long Binh to my parent unit, the 9^th Med Lab. There were military buses leaving at varying intervals so I waited for the next one to come along. I waited and I looked around. It hit me:

This is a war zone!

The windows on the bus were covered with heavy mesh wire to keep out hand grenades if they are thrown at the bus.. Two guards, armed with M-14’s stand at the front of the bus. But the wire mesh and the two guards could not keep out the heat and the smells. The odor of humanity was all around. Urine, feces, human sweat and animal odors are all mixed with the overwhelming smell of gasoline engine exhaust in this city of nine million.

Looking out the window I was surprised at the numbers of motorcycles, weaving in and out of traffic almost hitting the slower bicycle rickshaws and just missing the hundreds of people on bikes. How they keep from crashing into each other I can not understand.. I probably will never get used to the mass of humanity, the noise and the odors that hang in the air.

After arriving at the 9^th Med Lab,I met the Commander and was given a clean room and enough time to take a nice cool shower. I was surprised at the facilities, I was expecting something out of “MASH” but they were very modern and up-to-date. After a short rest, I went out to meet LT John Murphy, a Parasitologist and CAPT Arron Davis, a microbiologists, both of them were assigned to the 9^th Med Lab and had been in country for a few months. We walked across the compound to the 95^th EVAC Hospital mess hall and had dinner. I know I was hungry, but this was the best meat loaf and mashed potatoes I had tasted in a long time.

I spent two days at the 9^th Med Lab getting briefed and becoming a little more acclimated. Then it’s off to my assignment up country. Before my departure, I checked out my .45 cal pistol, a carbine and some extra magazines. I was ready to go. Apprehensive but ready!

I was able to catch a ride out of Ton San Nuet Air Force Base on an Army aircraft going to Cam Ranh and then a quick jeep ride to the 6^th CC compound, The flight was uneventful and I arrived safely. I stopped in to meet the Hospital Commander, COL Joseph Kmieck and then headed for my unit.

My unit the USARV Central Blood Bank is located in a new building and is just a large open area building. All the space is utilized each night when we get the blood shipments ready. My responsibility is the packing and shipment of all the whole blood used throughout the country. This meant we handled hundreds of units of blood each night for shipment and use the next day. Each day we would receive utilization rate information from the various medical units throughout South Vietnam, we would then order the blood from the states (actually the Armed Services Whole Blood Processing Laboratory in Hawaii, ASWBL) to replace what we had shipped out. The rest of my unit was a jeep, a ¾ ton truck, 4 enlisted soldiers, some large blood storage refrigerators and three fresh frozen plasma freezers.

After a short time I begin to settle into the job and I found I had plenty of time to get involved with some of the hospital programs. The two programs I got involved with were the Medical Civic Action Programs (MEDCAPS) and visitations to a local orphanage.

Chapter Two

Winning over the hearts and minds

….US military slogan

My First MEDCAP Visit

Even though the slogan of winning the hearts and minds was something started in the 1960’s with President Kennedy ‘s pacification program, the medical units in Vietnam continued to provide humanitarian help to the people of South Vietnam in the 1970’s.

The medical personnel of the 6^th Convalescent Center worked out a schedule to visit a number of small local Vietnamese clinics. The visits of course were done randomly, never on schedule for obvious reasons

It was a Wednesday morning and I had been told that there was a MEDCAP group leaving for one of the clinics. . I was welcome to go along. As I walked to the Headquarters building I could see a dozen people loading up a jeep and a ¾ ton truck with various medical equipment and supplies. I can see that my first trip out of the compound will be an educational experience.

As we pulled away I noticed a jeep with two armed guards in front of us and another jeep following ours with another two guards. The nurses rode in the back of the truck with the corpsmen and I am riding in a jeep with our dentist CPT Tom Osborne.

After a 30 minute ride we came to a small village and I could see the people all standing in line in front of one of the buildings. There must have been 60 - 70 waiting for treatment or medicines. It took us about 15 minutes to get set up and then the doctor and nurses began to see patients. I went with Tom as he started on those needing dental treatment.

I was amazed! The elderly were there for extractions. Their habit of chewing “bettle nuts” for years had rotted their teeth. They showed up with bleeding gums, teeth loose enough to reach in and pull out, and foul smelling breath. The whole inside of their mouths were black from the “nuts.” Tom was running behind, so he then began to examine the patients and those with very loose teeth he directed to me. So I donned rubber gloves picked up the extractor and began pulling teeth. He would identify the tooth, I would pull it, give the patient some antibiotics and stick a couple of gauze pads into the space where the tooth was and move to the next one.

This was certainly a productive and interesting visit. I felt good about the people we had helped and could only guess at the joy I would get when we visited the orphanage. Little was I to know that the visit to the orphanage would turn my world upside down.

Chapter Three

What you see and what you hear is “Love me”…

Meeting Ming

It was a Thursday and we were scheduled to visit the orphanage. There was some concern because there had been some VC action last night in the vicinity of the orphanage.

I got up early and began to gather my blood utilization data so I could communicate it to ASWBPL in Hawaii. I had no way of knowing how this day was going to change my life. The trips to the orphanage were a different approach to” winning the minds and hearts.” This was a different group of people. Most of them were nurses or female medics, although a few males did go, mostly to act as security.

LT Helen Holden was the nurse in charge on this particular visit. Although I was senior in rank to her, I deferred to her experience in these visits. She briefed me on the way. “Most of these children have lost one or both of their parents. Some of their parents are still alive but are seriously wounded and in the hospital with no way to take care of their children. So, they have been sent to the orphanage with the hope that someday they can get back together as a family” As we passed through the gates to the orphanage, she continued, “ Don’t be surprised at anything you see or hear, remember these kids have been traumatized to a far greater extent than you or I can possibly imagine”.

Two nuns are waiting for us and help us take the things we have brought to the kitchen. I was immediately aware of the lack of laughter and playfulness. The children seem to be playing but there is no real laughter.

I look around and see children of all ages from infants to teenagers. I am confused “What do I do now,” I ask LT Holden.

She replies, “ Just walk around and find someone to talk with and play with.”

I walk around the yard and then into a room in the building that appears to be a nursery. Sitting in a crib all alone and playing with her doll is a sweet little girl. I am immediately drawn to her. She is cautious and shy. A nun tells me she has lost both parents, is about 2 years old and her name is Ming. My heart goes out to her and I know I will visit here again.

Chapter 4

They are so shattered by war they forget how to play…

Ming Revisited

On my second visit to the orphanage I asked the nuns how Ming was doing. They said she was physically healthy but still very quiet and introspective. I immediately decided I would make her my “project” and try to get her out of her shell.

I had been warned that she didn’t like to be held by strangers so I kept my distance and just spoke quietly to her. When lunch came I was elated because she let me feed her. I felt I had pierced her armor.. Even the Nuns were surprised.

I always felt she could see the love in my eyes and she knew I was not going to hurt her. This helped her come around more quickly. Before the visit was over, I was talking with her and she had let me hold her doll for a while. But still no physical contact. No reaching out for attention or affection. I decided I would leave that to her.

I couldn’t help but to love her. She was like a little doll. On this visit Ming was wearing a red jumper outfit and with her dark skin, her dark hair and eyes she was beautiful. I wanted to pick her up and hug her and let her know everything was going to work out, but I couldn’t do that. It was still too early. She was still standoffish and shy.

So, I just sat beside her crib and talked to her. She couldn‘t understand me, but I think she understood the love and soothing in my voice. She became a little more animated just before we had to return to the 6^th CC. I could see I was making headway and it gave me a warm glow to know I was somehow hopefully making her world a little less stressful

Chapter 5

What you see and what you hear is “Love me”

Birthday at the Orphanage

We arrived at the orphanage for our regular visit but the nuns had told us they were going to celebrate birthdays on this visit so we had a variety of small gifts. I picked up a new doll for Ming and began looking for her as soon as we entered the compound. I had missed the last visit and missed that sweet baby like I missed my own daughter. I found that more and more she was acting as a source of love for me in the absence of my own family. A situation I noted seemed to be the case with the staff in many instances. But, it seemed more than that for me. I felt I actually loved this small person who could break my heart with a frown, or send it singing with a smile.

I began to think of adoption! I had heard of many of the soldiers adopting children and even was aware of two children from the orphanage who were heading to the states for adoption.

After we stopped the jeep I jumped out and ran into the nursery. Her crib was empty. I panicked! I was at a loss. Then I noticed there were additional cribs. The orphanage had received more children. Things had been rearranged. I finally spotted Ming in the corner and walked over to see her.

To my amazement she stood up and held her arms out to me. I literally cried as I hugged her tiny body to me. That did it. I was determined to take Ming back to the United States where she could be save and secure for the rest of her life.

Still carrying Ming I walked over to one of the nuns and asked what the process was to adopt. She told me it would be long and tedious but she would help me if I desired. I gathered some initial papers and took them back to discuss with the legal officer of the 6th CC to begin the process.

My first hurdle was to alert and then convince my family of my adoption plans. I felt it would not be a real problem because she was such a wonderful baby. I had forgotten that they did not know Ming as I did. They had the love of each other to rely on while I had only Ming over the past months.

So I called home the next night and casually mentioned the fact that many soldiers were adopting. I had spoken of Ming before and my wife began to see the direction I was headed. I could hear her voice stiffen up. I let the subject slide for the rest of the conversation. I decided to open the subject again in a letter home. I felt I could expound on the positives better in writing. I composed my thoughts and then wrote and mailed the letter.

Chapter 6

Time marches on …….

Vietnamizaton

The concept of Vietnamization seemed to be failing and as the war drew down. The “Silent Majority” began to turn against the troops. There was national and international outrage as to some of the actions of American troops. This mentality also set it self in my family. I received a certified return letter almost immediately after I mailed my letter home. It seems that my family was totally against the adoption of Ming. My wife even returned the photos of Ming I had mailed to her. I was at a loss as to what to do next. I surely loved the little girl, and I wanted to protect her from harm. The only way I could be sure she was safe was to take her with me. Then I received more bad news. The legal officer told me that without both potential parents signature there could be no adoption. I was devastated.

Chapter 7

The long goodbye…….