Author Unknown JINGLE BELLS (Vietnam War Version) Dashing thru the mud, In a jeep that should be junk Over the fields we go, All of us are drunk. Wheels on dirt roads bounce, Making asses sore Lord, I’d sooner go to hell, Than finish out this war! Oh, jingle bells, mortar shells, V.C. in the grass We’ll have no Merry Christmas cheer Until this year has passed. Oh, jingle bells, mortar shells, V.C. in the grass Take your Merry Christmas cheer And shove it up your ass! Jungle bells, mortar shells VC in the grass; Take your bamboo Christmas tree And shove it up your ass! Dashing thru the sand, Got no one horse sleigh, Grease gun in my hand, Blasting all the way. I’m hornier than hell, I’d like to bob some tail, But VC, man, is number 10, And Mama San won’t sell. HO, jingle bells, mortar shells, Charlie’s in the grass; Take your bamboo Christmas tree And shove it up your ASS! From International War Veterans’ Poetry Initiative website